So I'm not really sure why... well, let me be honest lolz. I know exactly why I chose this as my first blog title. It's because I need advice and wisdom of experience. I have been thinking a lot lately aboutthe person I wasbefore I became a mom. My reasons for these thoughts now in life; is because I am about to send my 1st born off to college in a couple months and next fall (2018) I will send my 2ndborn off as well. As these dates grow near I am constantly being asked "so what are you going to do when they are gone?" to which I respond honestly "I don't know?"
Now truly I must say that up until the start of my oldest daughters senior year I was the parent that was constantly saying "I can't wait until yawl move out!" lbvs! But, quite frankly now that the time for them to go off on their own has come, that couldn't be further from the truth. I worry about them so much now that at times it makes me physically ill...and they haven't even moved away for college yet!
How do parents do this?! I have watched their little faces smile and grow and frown and shine for almost 19 years and the thought of not seeing those faces everyday (no matter how much they annoy me at times lolz) truly hurts me. I never really thought this would be this hard I mean SERIOUSLY! Don't get me wrong, I do know that we are in the era of technology and it is ever evolving, butI just don't knowthat skype/face-time will be enough for this protective momma bear!
Not only am I struggling with my pending empty-nest syndrome, I am also dealing with the person I will be/become once they are gone off to begin their life journey. Which lead me to the title of this blog. I don't want to go backwards considering I was a teen parent, but moving forward just seems strange. Having had my world center around raising my two daughters for nearly 20 years, I feel has stunted the growth of myself. Who am I, if not a full time mom? How do you become a half-time mom, or a mom when needed; so to speak.... Change has never been easy for me, so at times I am fearful of becoming the lonely lady with cats lolz. I have truly been so focused on raising my girls that I feel I am lacking on so many levels and Lord knows I will need to become more social and outgoing. So this is my cry out for help. I cannot be the only mother/parent going through this right now; I am definitely not the first and certainly won't be the last. I welcome all parents and/or guardians to please assist me in my transition by giving me your honest opinions, experiences and thoughts.